Have you ever been camping out and had to get up in the morning to stir up the coals of a fire from the evening before in order to get some warmth? Can you picture the white ash on top that hides the glow of some embers still burning underneath as you stir the coals? Do you remember blowing on the coals and feeding them a few small sticks or dried out pine needles in order to get a flame to spring back to life? Breathing life into an old, worn-out relationship, or even one that has just been untended for a while is much like this. It sure is much easier to get that fire going with hot coals already in place than to start over from scratch!
Hopefully four weeks into the “Love Dare” you have recognized that this book is not a cure-all for marriage relationships. In fact, no such thing exists. However, the value of this book is in guiding people to think intentionally about, and actively do things that bless their marriage partner. Some of the “dares” have been very easy; others, not so easy. Some of the “dares” have been spot-on concerning an area relevant to your marriage; others, maybe not so much. The point is that you are developing habits of thinking about your marriage and doing something to rekindle the fire in your relationship on a daily basis. You are stirring up the coals each morning instead of waiting for them burn out completely.
God provides an illustration of this through His prophet, Ezekiel, as he has a vision of a valley full of dry bones in Ezekiel 37. The bones represent the “whole house of Israel” according to V. 11. This nation, who was in a bond of covenant with the One true God (a marriage bond), has somehow allowed that relationship to dry up and the life be taken out of them. The feeling is that their “hope has perished” (V. 11)! (Can any of you relate to this feeling?) Interestingly, God asks Ezekiel in V. 3, “Son of man, can these bones live?” and the prophet answers, “O LORD God, You know.” God does know, and will demonstrate His power to put things back in order and breathe life in these bones, but submission is required!
The solution to bringing life back to these old, dry bones is for them to “hear the word of the LORD” (V. 4), and for Him to “put My Spirit within you, and you will come to life” (V. 14). No words of wisdom or special incantation from Ezekiel would ever bring those old bones back to life. No power from within the bones, themselves, would bring them back to vitality! The solution is found in the word of God and His Spirit dwelling within them. The same is true in dealing with our marriages today!!!
You can try to build the foundation of your marriage upon a lot of things, but the one true way of success is to look to the word of God for the direction and guidance to put order back to a relationship that has fallen apart. Ezekiel writes, “So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold, a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to its bone” (V. 7). Again, let me emphasize! What Ezekiel was told to “prophesy” over the bones was for them to “HEAR THE WORD OF THE LORD” (V. 4)! God used this to put things back in order. God then put His Spirit within them and they came to life!
He can, and will, do the same thing with your marriage! Daily let His word speak order to your relationship and allow his Spirit to bring life to your bond and see if the embers being stirred don’t produce a flame that keeps you both warm! I DARE YOU!!!
-Scott
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Whoever Hears These Words of Mine . . .
Just suppose I was having some serious issues in my walk with God. Imagine I felt like God was far, far away, and really didn’t understand what I was going through. Not only do I have doubts about Him and His love for me, but I even have doubts about how lovable I am. Why would He care about me in the first place? Suppose my talking to Him felt like I was talking to a wall, and that my prayers never went any higher than the ceiling. Opening up to Him was awkward and difficult because I do not like to be vulnerable, or am afraid what I say “can and will be used against me in a court of law”. I am miserable with Him . . . and . . . I know I would be miserable without Him! What a horrible way to go through life!!! How did I ever get to this point of things being such a colossal mess? (This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to husband and wife.)
Now suppose someone was to come along and say they knew how to help me with these problems. They understood my fears and struggles and could show me a way to navigate through the minefield of relationship. They even pointed out to me models from God’s word of how I should “Receive—Leave—Cleave—Weave” based upon what we learn about the first man and woman; or build from Covenant to Grace to Empowerment to Intimacy as God does with the Israelites throughout the Old Testament. They explain how God is described from the very start of the Bible story as One who can take a universe of chaos and mess and speak order into it, turning it into something “good”! What a huge help that would be, right?
I remember my mom telling me when I was a child, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Sage wisdom every child needs to hear as they are growing up, right? Jesus made the same basic statement another way when He said, “Therefore, whoever hears these words of Mine, and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man, who built his house upon the rock . . . . And whoever hears these words of Mine, and does not act upon them, will be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand” (Matthew 7:24, 26).
Wise . . .
Foolish . . .
They are not determined by whether they had a chance to hear the words of Jesus, or not. They are determined by whether they chose to listen and put them into practice. In fact, neither is promised by listening to the words of Jesus, or even putting them into practice, that they would escape having to face the storms that come with living in this world. What they were promised is that they would stand through them—IF THEY ACTED UPON THEM!!!
The Love Dare . . . Dynamic Marriage . . . Marriage Mentors . . . Celebrate/Recovery . . . A Sermon Series on God’s design for marriage . . . Premarital and Marriage Counseling . . . Libraries of books & videos on marriage & issues that come up within a marriage . . . . Do you get the idea that at Garden Ridge we are concerned about helping people build healthy marriages and enjoy the fullness of what God designed?
None of it matters if you refuse to drink! When the storms come and it feels like your house is crumbling in on top of you, can you honestly say it happened in spite of hearing the teachings of God and acting upon them? None of these resources will work magic in a relationship where one or both of the individuals refuse to change.
The truth is . . . God supplies a GREAT plan for marriage.
The issue is . . . Will you humbly submit to it and change to fit His design?
So, to make use of a few clichés, “The ball is in your court.” “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.” “Whoever hears these words of Mine . . . .” What will you do now?
Click to listen to sermon.
-Scott
Now suppose someone was to come along and say they knew how to help me with these problems. They understood my fears and struggles and could show me a way to navigate through the minefield of relationship. They even pointed out to me models from God’s word of how I should “Receive—Leave—Cleave—Weave” based upon what we learn about the first man and woman; or build from Covenant to Grace to Empowerment to Intimacy as God does with the Israelites throughout the Old Testament. They explain how God is described from the very start of the Bible story as One who can take a universe of chaos and mess and speak order into it, turning it into something “good”! What a huge help that would be, right?
I remember my mom telling me when I was a child, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Sage wisdom every child needs to hear as they are growing up, right? Jesus made the same basic statement another way when He said, “Therefore, whoever hears these words of Mine, and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man, who built his house upon the rock . . . . And whoever hears these words of Mine, and does not act upon them, will be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand” (Matthew 7:24, 26).
Wise . . .
Foolish . . .
They are not determined by whether they had a chance to hear the words of Jesus, or not. They are determined by whether they chose to listen and put them into practice. In fact, neither is promised by listening to the words of Jesus, or even putting them into practice, that they would escape having to face the storms that come with living in this world. What they were promised is that they would stand through them—IF THEY ACTED UPON THEM!!!
The Love Dare . . . Dynamic Marriage . . . Marriage Mentors . . . Celebrate/Recovery . . . A Sermon Series on God’s design for marriage . . . Premarital and Marriage Counseling . . . Libraries of books & videos on marriage & issues that come up within a marriage . . . . Do you get the idea that at Garden Ridge we are concerned about helping people build healthy marriages and enjoy the fullness of what God designed?
None of it matters if you refuse to drink! When the storms come and it feels like your house is crumbling in on top of you, can you honestly say it happened in spite of hearing the teachings of God and acting upon them? None of these resources will work magic in a relationship where one or both of the individuals refuse to change.
The truth is . . . God supplies a GREAT plan for marriage.
The issue is . . . Will you humbly submit to it and change to fit His design?
So, to make use of a few clichés, “The ball is in your court.” “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.” “Whoever hears these words of Mine . . . .” What will you do now?
Click to listen to sermon.
-Scott
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Art of Receiving
Last week we began looking at the creation of the first man and woman and how their relationship was based upon being made in God’s image. God’s relational nature (being 3 in 1) is the model of what He created in the bond of husband & wife. Add to that the beauty of being made as side-by-side companions (fashioned from a rib) and you have a beautiful picture of God’s intention and design for marriage. However, once you are married, then what? How do you build the intimacy God created your marriage bond to have and sustain a deep, abiding love through the rigors of everyday life?
The first step we saw in God’s plan is to RECEIVE our spouse as the gift of God they are and the artwork He has created them to be. Realizing their attributes that complement our own and rejoicing in how those differences make us better bring about unity and mutual respect that increases intimacy. Obviously, fighting against these differences and trying to change one another to fit our ways of thinking will hinder growing together. Just think about how many arguments or times of frustration with one another could be avoided if we learned to practice healthy receiving of one another!
A great illustration of how this works is found in I Samuel 25 where David encounters a man named Nabal and later his wife, Abigail. David and the band of renegades he has accumulated have been running from Saul and have spent some time hiding in the vicinity of where Nabal’s flocks have been sheared. At a time of celebrating the end of shearing, David has his men approach Nabal and ask for some food for his men as a sign of appreciation for the protection they have provided. How are they received? Nabal rebukes them and disrespects them. There is no appreciation in Nabal. He is stingy with the provisions God has blessed him with. He gets focused upon himself. All this leads to an escalation of great intensity. (Here comes the argument!)
David, feeling disrespected, vows to bring destruction upon Nabal and his household. (Amazing how a lack of RECEIVING can bring about such passionate feelings in a person!) At this point, Abigail enters the story. Having been told the way her husband rebuffed David and his men, she acts quickly. She prepares a feast of food for David and his men and goes out to meet him. She falls at his feet and asks him to accept her gift and to let God take care of Nabal, rather than taking matters into his own hands. She receives him with humility and respect and it turns David’s anger into praise for her and for the Lord who he says sent her to him to stop him from bloodshed. (Amazing how the act of RECEIVING someone with respect can shut down the anger that has built up within them!)
So, how did you do this past week with RECEIVING your marriage partner? How is your Love Dare going this week? Are you striving to develop better habits in the way you relate to that precious gift of a spouse God has blessed you with? James writes, “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves” (1:22). In other words, put these things to practice and don’t just wink or nod at sermons that tell you about what to do to help you in your marital walk. You may be amazed at how this one basic action brings about such powerful results!
Click to listen to sermon.
-Scott
The first step we saw in God’s plan is to RECEIVE our spouse as the gift of God they are and the artwork He has created them to be. Realizing their attributes that complement our own and rejoicing in how those differences make us better bring about unity and mutual respect that increases intimacy. Obviously, fighting against these differences and trying to change one another to fit our ways of thinking will hinder growing together. Just think about how many arguments or times of frustration with one another could be avoided if we learned to practice healthy receiving of one another!
A great illustration of how this works is found in I Samuel 25 where David encounters a man named Nabal and later his wife, Abigail. David and the band of renegades he has accumulated have been running from Saul and have spent some time hiding in the vicinity of where Nabal’s flocks have been sheared. At a time of celebrating the end of shearing, David has his men approach Nabal and ask for some food for his men as a sign of appreciation for the protection they have provided. How are they received? Nabal rebukes them and disrespects them. There is no appreciation in Nabal. He is stingy with the provisions God has blessed him with. He gets focused upon himself. All this leads to an escalation of great intensity. (Here comes the argument!)
David, feeling disrespected, vows to bring destruction upon Nabal and his household. (Amazing how a lack of RECEIVING can bring about such passionate feelings in a person!) At this point, Abigail enters the story. Having been told the way her husband rebuffed David and his men, she acts quickly. She prepares a feast of food for David and his men and goes out to meet him. She falls at his feet and asks him to accept her gift and to let God take care of Nabal, rather than taking matters into his own hands. She receives him with humility and respect and it turns David’s anger into praise for her and for the Lord who he says sent her to him to stop him from bloodshed. (Amazing how the act of RECEIVING someone with respect can shut down the anger that has built up within them!)
So, how did you do this past week with RECEIVING your marriage partner? How is your Love Dare going this week? Are you striving to develop better habits in the way you relate to that precious gift of a spouse God has blessed you with? James writes, “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves” (1:22). In other words, put these things to practice and don’t just wink or nod at sermons that tell you about what to do to help you in your marital walk. You may be amazed at how this one basic action brings about such powerful results!
Click to listen to sermon.
-Scott
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